Food Funnies

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotton over their caffine addiction, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS".

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO GO".

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard or one of your choice.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM machine, scream "I Won" "I Won" "3rd time this week.

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose".

19. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go".

20. Send this to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff like this.